Wanna swap?

Ever since I got home from the workshop with Denyse Schmidt I’ve been stewing and brewing the idea for a quilt block swap. I’ve worked out logistics, made graphics, picked some fabric colors (which match my website beautifully) and now I’m ready to say, “Come and play!”

If you click on that button up there you’ll be taken to the not-a-secret-anymore page on this here site. All the details are there for how to have a really good time, do some service for the world, and make some collaborative “soft art” from crafty friends everywhere. There is so much talent, creativity, good taste, craftmanship, and camaraderie out there in the craft world that I want some tangible evidence. Tangible as in a nice snuggly colorful quilt to wrap up in. Anyone else?

Well, what are you waiting for? The sign-up window for Block Swap opens today and closes March 8th (or when I get 50 people, whichever is first).  And if it sounds like a fun idea to you, spread the word.  I have had a little help from Denyse (who’s been giving me feedback and sent an invitation to former workshoppers) and a few craft-blog friends, but the more the merrier!

Here’s a project I’ve FINALLY finished. I’ll have to post more details about it later…

I was hoping that I would be posting amazing photos of my bed adorned with a new Denyse Schmidt quilt beneath a wall of freshly framed Karl Blossfeldt photogravures, but alas… my quilt is backordered. Which is okay, but I wish they had told me that fact when I ordered it and not over a week later when I was expecting it to be here. What a let down!

and now the wait…

Eight years ago today Barry took me up Logan Canyon to go cross country skiing. It was going to be an epic trip, from one canyon to another, through the pure white snow and blanketed forest, the two of us doing something we loved to do– together. It was REALLY snowing, my skis weren’t waxed quite right for the conditions, I was sliding backwards down small hills, I was tired, I was cold, I wanted to go home, we turned back… I foiled his plan, but he asked me to marry him anyway. I knew I loved him then. In fact, I knew I loved him the moment we met. We were soul mates before the world was.

But, I am so thankful love grows with time. We have three children. We’ve lived in three different states. A lot of the time we’ve only had each other. And we like it that way. He is a part of me. I’m a part of him.

This week will be a milestone in my life. As I sat and read and meditated while everyone else was at church on Sunday I realized that I have given birth– I had to endure the physical pain, I had to will myself to relax through contractions, I had to cry and bleed and suffer and endure. I went through the whole process, and though I did not come out of it with a baby, I did give birth to something.

I gave birth to a new beginning, a chance to start over…

I gave birth to a realization that God loves me with no strings attached–
and that a relationship with Him does not mean I will just have more things to do.

I think too much.

I need to let myself feel;

to feel my body, to feel my emotions, to delve into my heart and really experience what is there,
without the noise and crowding of quilt plans or book plans or blog entry plans or Relief Society lesson plans or conversation plans (I design, cut, sew, bind, view, display, discuss the same project from start to finish over and over in my mind. So much so, that most of them never get made, and I miss what is happening in the moment.).

But I think more than anything I gave birth to a realization of my absolute dependence on Barry– to a deeper love. I feel swallowed by it. We are so inseparably connected. I wish I could explain it or have the right words to say to him, but I just can’t.

Barry, I love you. I need you. I thank you.

Love, jess

I designed the pattern for a plush toy how-to book being published by Lark Books and in stores this spring/ summer. I got my check in the mail last week and this morning I clicked away at shopfosters.com (thanks for the heads up Dayna) and got this:

I’m plugging away at my nesting and beautifying. My room is the 1st place I see when I wake up and the last place I see at night, so that’s my starting place. I’m filling it with things I love, that are beautiful, that mean something… so that I’ll have a refuge.

This is the week of recovery, and discovery

because I really like them.

Shop Seedpod has moved to seedpod.etsy.com. Barry’s needed something to do during his week home to take care of me and the kids. Along with removing all the wall paper glue from the kids’ room, changing the starter in his truck, catching up on laundry, cleaning out the rabbit cage, reading countless books, and grocery shopping, he took a few minutes to figure out etsy and sent my books over there. I’ve got a few more quilt journals waiting for pages to be sewn in, so I’ll post them soon.

On another note, thanks so much for the sympathy and well wishes. It has been a rough week, but I’ve had all the time I’ve wanted to lay in bed and sleep or just veg listening to Harry Potter and the Order of the Pheonix (#5) on CD. Sunday’s visit to the ER let us know that the baby wasn’t alive, but I’ve had to wait for my body to do what it needed to. I’ve felt really crampy and yucky all week. Then last night I went through 2 hours of labor– intense contractions and everything. It was hard. I had Logan totally natural, and that was intense, but once it was over I had a little baby, so it was all worth it. Last night was just hard because the contractions were not any easier to work through than having a real baby, but no real baby. I’m just so glad I had Barry there. He knows how to help me relax. He got me dressed, cleaned up the mess… now that’s true love.

I feel WORLDS better today. Like almost back to normal. I showered and put on cute clothes and wasn’t ready for a nap after standing long enough to take a shower. That was nice. Tomorrow Barry will go to work. I’ll stay home and do school and take it easy. I’m so glad the worst is over. Now on to recovery.

I took a photo of this drawing over the weekend in anticipation of making a grand entry today titled “new baby and new year’s goals,” but after a trip to the emergency room last night the new baby part isn’t true anymore. I thought after 15 weeks of nausea and daily afternoon naps I was ready to make some big announcements– and so I did let the women at church know I was pregnant yesterday when I taught our Relief Society class. Bummer.

I had even gotten used to the idea of having 4 kids, busily making plans and lists of things I want to get done before the new arrival. I’ve been a woman on a mission and really excited about all the nesting I’ve got started around here.

So, though I’m not keeping the baby, I’m keeping the nesting and rearranging, the new year’s goals.

And that’s where the drawing above comes in. It’s Brenna at about 18 months. Her first word was duck and she carried that Beanie Buddy around everywhere. I loved her crazy hair… so I stood her in front of Seasame Street one morning and got busy. Then Jonah was born, we moved, and this has been tucked in a drawer ever since. I feel too guilty framing it and hanging it because I have two more kids now– kids who I have made no art about. So, I will make drawing/ paintings of the boys before Logan turns 2 in July. And I’m propping this up on my mantel shelf as a constant reminder.

Also in the works is a complete overhaul of the bedrooms. I already started by buying Brenna a new bed quilt (big step BUYING something and not feeling like a total loser for not MAKING it myself), making bedside tables for our room, and making my first light, airy Roman shade for our bedroom window. I have plans to buy this Denyse Schmidt quilt for our room, frame and hang my new Karl Blossfedlt prints, and make some Big Zig quilts for the boys. The horribly ugly wall paper in the kid’s room was scraped and scraped on Saturday and I acquired a new toy-box-bench for $25 from a nearby antique store. I have been a woman on a mission and have quite a momentum going.

Hopefully I can fill my time with kids I love, a husband who loves me, and we can work together on making our house a special place that showcases what we love and who we are… and that will help me cope with this sad, sad, sadness…

Here are 2 more of my Karl Blossfeldt prints that I won on eBay. My favorites keep going for over $100, which is a little out of my price range, but I got these two for $9.99! How can ya beat that?!