I took a photo of this drawing over the weekend in anticipation of making a grand entry today titled “new baby and new year’s goals,” but after a trip to the emergency room last night the new baby part isn’t true anymore. I thought after 15 weeks of nausea and daily afternoon naps I was ready to make some big announcements– and so I did let the women at church know I was pregnant yesterday when I taught our Relief Society class. Bummer.
I had even gotten used to the idea of having 4 kids, busily making plans and lists of things I want to get done before the new arrival. I’ve been a woman on a mission and really excited about all the nesting I’ve got started around here.
So, though I’m not keeping the baby, I’m keeping the nesting and rearranging, the new year’s goals.
And that’s where the drawing above comes in. It’s Brenna at about 18 months. Her first word was duck and she carried that Beanie Buddy around everywhere. I loved her crazy hair… so I stood her in front of Seasame Street one morning and got busy. Then Jonah was born, we moved, and this has been tucked in a drawer ever since. I feel too guilty framing it and hanging it because I have two more kids now– kids who I have made no art about. So, I will make drawing/ paintings of the boys before Logan turns 2 in July. And I’m propping this up on my mantel shelf as a constant reminder.
Also in the works is a complete overhaul of the bedrooms. I already started by buying Brenna a new bed quilt (big step BUYING something and not feeling like a total loser for not MAKING it myself), making bedside tables for our room, and making my first light, airy Roman shade for our bedroom window. I have plans to buy this Denyse Schmidt quilt for our room, frame and hang my new Karl Blossfedlt prints, and make some Big Zig quilts for the boys. The horribly ugly wall paper in the kid’s room was scraped and scraped on Saturday and I acquired a new toy-box-bench for $25 from a nearby antique store. I have been a woman on a mission and have quite a momentum going.
Hopefully I can fill my time with kids I love, a husband who loves me, and we can work together on making our house a special place that showcases what we love and who we are… and that will help me cope with this sad, sad, sadness…
I’m quiet by your news… this is so sad.
I don’t know how you feel but I think I can understand a little bit. I wish you all the strength you need to get over this loss… Stay close to the ones that you love and that love you!
(what a beautiful drawing!)
Jess, I love you so much. You are in my prayers.
P.S. I love your drawing of Brenna, you are so talented.
I feel for you, such pain, you will always remember, but remember the good feelings, not the bad. You are in my thoughts.
Dear Jess, I have been reading your blogs for a little while from melbourne. I have been in awe of your energy, creativity and acheivements. I thinking of you while you are experiencing this great sadness. With love from Kathy
Jess– I’m so sorry to hear about this. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Love, Terrah
what a terrible thing…I hope that you are well. You have one of my favorite blogs. I love everything that you make. It sounds like you have a wonderful family that loves you and they will surely help you through all this. take care…
Jess-so very sorry to hear the news. relax and take good care. Your talent is amazing. BTW, I just bought that quilt last week in grey from shopfosters.com—its 100.00 cheaper and they have more to choose from. It looks fantastic on my bed!
Hi Jessica,
I just wanted to thank you for your beautiful postcard. Yours is one of my absolute favorits, and I’m glad I’ve found your site. I will come back.
Happy new year to you too!
Bless you, bless you, bless you and hang in there. Sounds like you’ve got a lot of great stuff and great momentum going on. That may just be the best way to take care of yourself.
Sending love and tenderness your way,
Amber (a new but very excited reader in Brooklyn)
Jessica – I’m so sorry about your loss. The drawing is really wonderful.
Amy (spindle customer from YS)