Today I got a phone call from my friend Tara, who is also my 1st counselor in the Relief Society Presidency. “Can you come get Katie? I am in the church parking lot. Judy Dailey got in a car accident. She hit a power pole. I’m trying to look in her car to see if she is all right…Oh, they’re telling me to move away because the line might fall down. The paramedics just got here. Oh, it is Judy, they just turned her over. I’m not sure what I need to do. Will you come get Katie so that maybe I can follow them to the hospital?”

I packed up my kids and went to the church–as far as I could. The road was blocked off. I parked by the police car, turned on my hazard lights, told my kids to stay in their seats, locked the doors, and ran to get Katie and her carseat. When I got to Tara she said, “She’s dead. They think that she died before she crashed. Her injuries weren’t enough to have killed her. They said they didn’t know if she had a heart condition and I told them she did. She had open heart surgery last year. She pulled out in front of me and I was following her and thinking, ‘That person is either drunk or asleep’ because she kept swerving. Then she swerved off the right side of the road and hit a garbage can and a mail box, then careened across traffic to the other side. It looked like she was going to hit a school bus and at the last second swerved a little more and hit the power pole. I realized ‘That’s Judy’ because who else drives a blue Toyota van that’s that old and that beat up?” She went on as we hurried Katie and her car seat to my car. Oh, I was dumb to leave my kids!! Jonah was in the front seat and the doors were unlocked. I am so thankful he stayed in the car. I just didn’t know what else to do.

So do we call the family? What do we do? The police told Tara to let the coroner’s office notify the family. I went home and called the bishop to let him know what happened. The we just waited. I was at a loss as to what to do. Another death? And so sudden. Another funeral to plan. Another dead body to dress…then Jonah dropped the snow globe. Glass and water and glitter and shepheds and sheep and angels all over the floor.

I wanted Barry to come home. I wanted help with these screaming kids and my swimming brain. I called. His phone was up in our bedroom. I tried to e-mail him. Couldn’t get his address right. I wanted to scream I was so frusterated. I tried to play with my kids in between phone calls.

It is hard to want to help, but feel powerless to do anything. All there is to do is wait.

So that was my day. Barry finally got home. I talked to Judy’s son. I met with the Bishop. I will go to the funeral home tomorrow or Thursday.