Thanks for all your comments yesterday.  I do have phone alarms and they help about 80% of the time– that’s why I took my kids to piano on the wrong day.  The week before the teacher switched them to Tuesday because she was going to be out of town on Thursday– I guess I accidentally switched that event permanently instead of for just one week.  Sometimes my phone is just out of earshot, or I have to nurse a baby and totally space something in the 20 minutes between my phone alarming and the time I have to go.  Oh well.  I won’t have a baby forever and I certainly don’t want to wish her to grow up.

I have this mantra and repeat it to myself often:

BE CONTENT AND REACH

Be content with where and what I am.  Reach to be better.

Now I’m just wishing I were Mrs. Weasley and could clean up my house and make dinner with the stroke of my wand.  Those Star Wars battlers up there sure are cute, but they really make a mess!

There is nothing like parenting to bring you eye to eye with your weaknesses.  This week mine seemed particularly glaring.  I completely forgot about our piano recital until the teacher called 5 minutes after it started and wondered where we were.  I mixed up swim practice times– 4 days in a row.  I took my kids to their 9:00 Thursday morning piano lessons on TUESDAY and just drove away because my doctor had called and I was engrossed in that conversation.  One afternoon I was out grocery shopping with some of the kids and left Jonah at home babysitting a napping Ian.  I was driving home around 3:42 when I listened to a phone message about someone giving Jonah a ride to Cub Scout Twilight Camp and panicked.  They needed to leave at 3:40!  He needed a dinner packed!  He couldn’t just LEAVE before I was home– he was the babysitter.

I’m not going to list and list all of the other things.  I had several not so good mom days this week.

I am not a naturally organized person.  I’m pretty flighty and easily distracted.  I can sit down in the morning with my phone and planner and know exactly what needs to happen that day.

Then I still forget.

Whose idea was it to put me in charge?  My poor baby falls asleep eating Cheerios.

I had a good mom week too.  I got my boys new swim suits and water guns and they had lots of friends over to have a battle in the back yard.  We actually had family prayer and scriptures each night, even with Barry gone.  I took six kids to the swim team party– complete with a salad and cookies– and we were there 5 minutes EARLY.

It is just that my mistakes really seem to out weigh my successes.  I also know those mistakes breed new ones when my internal voice keeps reinforcing how hopelessly unorganized I am.  How do I switch that inner dialog to be more positive?

What do you do when your weaknesses rear their ugly heads and demand so much attention?

Who does that little boy up there look like?

There is a little bit of him I see in all of my boys, but more than anyone my Ian is the spitting image of his Grandpa Croker– complete with the dress up hat and gun.  Barry’s dad passed away today and he was able to be there at his side along with his mom and sister.  All night and all morning he said  it was so much like waiting for a baby to be born (we have quite a bit of experience with that).  The inevitable is going to happen soon, but you have to be patient and let nature take its course.  Like a birth– to another phase in God’s eternal plan.

I’m here on the other side of the country with a yard full of boys in swim suits running around with water guns.  They are so alive.

I like to think that little boy up there is out there playing with them.