I didn’t get a post of Eva made on her 5 months birthday like I have every other month.  Now that she’s nearly 6 months I better get with it!

The truth is, Eva’s 5 month birthday was a really emotional day.  A good friend of mine had a baby the weekend before who died just 2 hours after he was born.  They knew it would be that way.  He was diagnosed with trisomy 13 when she was about 20 weeks pregnant, but still it was so sad and so hard.

Eva’s babyhood has been so emotional for me.  I am so keenly aware of how miraculous her little life is, how lucky I am to have her safe, whole, so perfect.  I know so many people who struggle to get pregnant, who desperately want children but just can’t seem to make it happen.  The week after Eva was born my sister in-law nearly died of preeclampsia, her baby was delivered at 32 weeks, and that tiny baby’s little lung collapsed on her second day of life.  There I was with a perfect baby, memories of a peaceful home birth, and tears running down my face constantly thinking of my sweet sister in-law who could barely even touch her fragile little one.  (My  niece is fine now, growing and perfect, but she had a scary start.)

Here I am with 6 perfect children, 6 easy pregnancies, 6 uncomplicated births.  I am so blessed.  I have had 2 miscarriages that were intensely sad, but a year to the day after each I was nursing a sweet little boy and as I look back I realize those trials were so small in comparison to what so many go through.

I hope I can live up to this miraculous privilege that is mine.

I have 6 perfect babies.